Yesterday, we heard Jesus tell his listeners that the covenant of marriage is so sacred any thought of violating it, even a lustful glance, is something to be avoided at all costs. Following on that theme, he now addresses the issue of divorce and remarriage. If a marriage is severed in divorce, that’s proof that the original marital commitment wasn’t sincere, wasn’t maintained, and can be considered invalid! If the marriage vow isn’t kept, the entire marriage was false and therefore, the man and woman involved in the fake marriage were simply living in adultery.

It’s important to note also that Jesus seems to place the blame here on the one who files for divorce. That person, notice, is victimizing the other by causing the other person to be guilty of adultery in this marriage and in any marriage to follow!

Jesus takes sexual purity very seriously.

But, it’s too easy for us to think that Jesus is talking about marital issues alone. He never let’s us get it that easily, so he immediately follows his statement with a statement on making oaths where he says that all oath taking is undesirable. Why is that? What’s wrong with making promises or swearing on something?

I’m not certain I fully understand Jesus here, but I think I have an idea what he’s getting at. Oaths are taken to convince someone else that my word is good. It has nothing to do with whether my word actually is good or not. The oath isn’t about my trustworthiness. It’s about my persuasiveness. Can I convince the other person that my word is good?

Jesus says, don’t even go there. Just be true to your word, all the time, consistently, and it doesn’t matter if people believe you. You be a person of integrity. Make sure your “Yes” is always “Yes.”

How easy is it for me to say something and walk away from the encounter knowing that I have no intention to do what I said? It’s very easy! Everyone knows it, so we often have to embellish our words to get people to believe us. But no matter how easy it might be, Jesus declares it to be wrong, and that’s where the connection is to be made with marriage.

Marriage is one example of “oath” taking because we have to convince the law and others that we are serious. What if the simple words, “I do” were enough? What would our lives be like if we simply lived what we said? We say, “Till death do we part” and live it out. We say, “You are the only one for me” and we live it out. We say, “I’ll do it” and live it out. What if our “Yes” always meant “Yes”?

What would it be like if we were to say, “Jesus, I’ll follow you” and then live it out?

BIG IDEA FOR THE DAY: Just do what you say, and convince people to trust you by your integrity.

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For our second message, Pastor Jeff takes a look at Matthew 5 and draws out for us the issue of approval. How much of our lives do we spend looking for approval? Is it possible that our pursuit of approval is misplaced? Jesus claims that we can receive approval from God if we live our lives so others approve of Him!

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To defend his claim of living a righteous life, Job says, “I made a covenant with my eyes not to look lustfully at a girl” (Job 31:1). For men at least the temptation of lust remains untamed territory. James tells us that no man has been able to tame the tongue, but taming the wandering eye of a guy is probably even more difficult. I have even known a number of men who have justified lustful patterns of behavior by saying they are simply appreciating the beauty that God created.

Well, appreciation and lust are two different things. Appreciation says, “I’m glad that’s there.” Lust says, “I want that here.” Lust is the desire to possess, control, and gain pleasure from another person specifically in an intimacy that God ordained solely for the covenant of marriage. And lust attacks women just as well as men. Of course some women aren’t as stimulated by physical appearance as men can be, but many women are highly stimulated by images of romance especially as portrayed on TV and in movies.

Isn’t that okay? After all, there’s no harm done by looking. A man looking at the Swimsuit Edition? A woman watching When Harry Met Sally? They aren’t doing anything wrong, are they? Even if they look “lustfully” at one of the models or at a situation on screen, it’s not like they’re actually having an affair.

This is exactly why Jesus says what he says. Looking with lust is as bad as doing. See, the point Jesus is making throughout this chapter is that God’s Law was never intended to be taken literally in the sense that following it by the letter is all we need to do. In fact, God’s Law was always intended to be taken to the heart. Therefore, if adultery is wrong, there must be a heart principle behind it—perhaps the intimacy of marriage is so sacred that even the thought of violating it should be demolished. It is the higher principle of the heart to which we should be committed. These higher principles will always express themselves in the way the Law prescribed, but God has always looked for the heart.

That’s why Jesus doesn’t stop with the statement on lust. It would be too easy for us to now treat his lust command as the new limit of morality without letting it actually sink into our hearts. Jesus is trying to get us to realize that all sin is so utterly terrible we must avoid it at all costs, even at the cost of personal pain and loss, even at the cost of a limb or an eye.

The sad truth is that I know I could lose both my eyes, and I’d still be able to formulate lustful thoughts in my heart, so getting rid of an eye or hand or foot won’t actually make me sinless, but if it could, I should be willing to go there for the sake of purity.

BIG IDEA FOR THE DAY:

• Is “lust” an issue for me? What will I put before my eyes today, and how will I respond to what appears before me?
• What is the condition of my heart? Considering my eyes, my heart, and my hands, am I living a life characterized by purity?

Matthew 5:21-26

The true mystery of relationships is not to be found in the fact that two can accomplish more than one. It is not in the miracle of love between a man and a woman. No, the true mystery of relationships is that if two people ever face a relational conflict, the OTHER person is always at fault. No matter what the issue is, no matter what the emotions are, no matter what the relationship was like before the conflict arose, once the conflict has begun, I can be 100% certain that 100% of the blame belongs to the OTHER person!

Of course, it’s irrational to think so because the other person is likewise convinced that all the blame belongs to me (which makes them even more in the wrong). You can see where this is going. Conflict can easily devolve into a negative feedback loop that boils down to a simple power struggle.

In this passage, Jesus gives us four teachings on relationship conflict and how his followers must respond.

• Anger is as serious as murder.
• Verbalizing disdain for another person is qualification for eternal punishment.
• If you recall that someone has something against you, make reconciliation your highest priority.
• Settle arguments quickly or you might find yourself on the losing end of a power struggle.

Each of these has one thing in common. Jesus puts the responsibility for relationship health on ME and not the OTHER. I do not have the luxury to blame the other person or even to avoid the other. However much I feel the other person is to blame, Jesus doesn’t allow me to live that way. I must take the lead, the initiative, and the responsibility to have healthy relationships or perhaps face the possibility of God’s judgment!

BIG IDEA FOR THE DAY:

We must take the lead in maintaining healthy relationships.

Matthew 5:17-20

Perfectionism is something I understand. I can remember one day in my youth when I proudly showed my mother my report card filled with A’s, and she noticed that one of my grades was an “A-”. I remember saying to her, “What’s the difference?” and she proceeded to tell me there was a big difference!

Throughout my years in school I began to realize the paradox of perfection. You can get A after A after A, and you don’t gain any ground whatsoever, because if your next grade isn’t an A, the streak of perfection is irreparably lost. One B, and the 4.0 is gone forever.

But what if 4.0 were the requirement for graduation? Suppose you got a B in Freshman English? What’s the point of going on?

That’s what Jesus is saying to his audience. 100% of the Law is still valid, 100% will always be valid, and 100% of it must be kept 100% in order for someone to enter the kingdom of heaven!

We might wish that God would wipe out the Law altogether, but Jesus says that’s not going to happen. However, there is a shining ray of hope in the words of Jesus at the beginning of this passage when he says he has come to “fulfill” the Law and the Prophets.

It should be clear to all of us that if God demands 100%, we have already failed, but Jesus didn’t. He came to fulfill the Law and that’s what he did. The requirement has been met, not by me, but by Jesus, and if he’s willing to accept me to himself, then God will accept me through him.

BIG IDEA FOR THE DAY: I must perfectly obey the Law or give myself to the one who has already done so.